The Story of My Life

Jennifer- I am in NO way attracted to you
Amir- Good. *crosses arms*
Jennifer- *gasp* How is that good?
amir- I saw the way u looked at me that one time when we were younger. Like a cold popcicle on a hot summer day...
Jennifer- There was a paletero man behind u and i wanted a ice cream. -_-
amir- Oh.
Jennifer- good job there.
Amir- well w/e. I bet youd like me if i was gay. Here does THIS turn you on?!!*takes shirt off and crosses legs*

So, tonight I went to a Blind Oversight concert, because my friend, Evan is the drummer. It was supposed to be a surprise to him...and it was. The second he saw he went "holy shit". Yeah, some bad stuff went down with us a while back, but tonight showed me that I was completely over it.
I had a lot of fun though! We were waiting for there band to play when these two girls sat down next to my friend, Bianca. They kept giving us looks and whispering to each other. I told Bianca to trade places with me. I started to make a lot of noises like clearing my throat, coughing and hawking loogies. Chyeahhh! I also coughed saying loudly "BITCHES!" But when I was clearing my throat the girl next to me gave me a dirty look, so I turned to my friends and said "HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT'S ANNOYING??? WHEN PEOPLE GIVE YOU DIRTY LOOKS!" And then I made a face at her. But as they were leaving the room (they were across the room by the way) she rolled her eyes at us and made that noise...ugh...wimps. So I ran out there looking for them but couldn't find them. Then when I was talking to Evan, they came back in and were going into another room. One girl was on her cell and looked right at me. I gave her a smug smile..and let me tell you...the look on her face was classic. She looked so pissed off. hahaha

But anyway, the show was a lot of fun. I head-banged the ENTIRE time. I am so sore. Plus, I sweated so much...more than normal. I must've lost 5 pounds! But the singer called a "girl mosh" so we all started moshing (my first mosh). I got a lot of scratches and bruises, but I loved it!

The manager lady definitely took a liking to me. She kept getting us in the front. AND that guy that kept rubbing his butt against us last time was there. He didn't do it again, but remembered me and offered me candy haha. He was pretty nice. I liked him. A rapper that loves rock music. How awesome is that? He's 19...He was pretty upset when he found out our age. haha but I made friends...It was a pretty great night.

Yet, the whole time I REALLY wanted Frankie there...*sigh* I miss him so much...

Since barely anyone on myspace will read this anyway...I'll put it on here.

Here's how it works....There are 22 questions that you have to fill out about the 1st person on your top 8. This is just to see if you know this person as well as you think!

1) Name: Frankie

2) Age: 15

3) Are they single?: If you count me...no

4) How long have you known this person? Since last summer

5) Are you related? Hope not.

6) Where does this person live? Tuckahoe, New York

7) How often do you kiss this person? If I could...every chance I get

8) When was the last time you talked to them? this afternoon...already miss him

9) When was the last time you talked to this person on the phone? Yesterday

10) Last time you saw him/her? Haven't seen him in person

11) How did you meet this person? He added me on myspace ^_^

12) Are you friends? definitely.

13) When will you see this person next? In person? Summer maybe..

14) Two word description of this person? Beautiful EmoBoy (yes, EmoBoy is one word >.<)

15) Greatest Memory Together? Well we've never really been together, but maybe I can fill this in eventually

16) Have you ever Dated this Person? somewhat currently

17) Has this person ever dated any of your friends? Um...no

18) Does this person make you happy? Every waking moment

19) Who does this person like? Hopefully this fucked up girl in Dallas

20) Would you ever consider yourself as his/her gf/bf? yeah..

21) What are your true feelings for this person? He's the best guy ever...and I'd love him to always be mine..

22) What would you do if you ever lost him/her? I'd die...in any way

Ok well I posted a countdown to my birthday, but it didn't work. But just in case you watned to know, it's on May 17th

Just in case you wanted to know...

Gah, I'm really depressed right now...Ever have something on your mind and absolutely everything reminds you that you of it. I refuse to be upset...Think if something that makes me happy...I know...Frankie. :) Much better.

Distance matters so little when you love someone this much

So, all of the high schools were told they could walk out of school for the protest, but my school completely locked down so we couldn't get out. Our district's director gave us permission to protest against this bill about the immigrants and they lock us in!!! We're attatched to a middle school...stupid middle school.

This stupid 7th grader was sitting in class when they were talking about it and she said "Hispanics don't belong here." About 75% of my school is hispanic! She seriously going to get jumped! Me and my friend Karin already left her some messages on her phone...Tomorrow is going to be VERY uncomfortable for her...

Peace out.

sterling: you look cooler than you use to be haha
Meredith: haha geeee...thanks
sterling: at first you were all like "hi... im meredith..." but now its like "Hey im Mere and i scare kids" haha

Garret
GuardianSea: this window...that we're talking in...you closed it didn't you?
FineGuitarPlayer: accidentally, somone was sending pics.and i wanted to close it out
FineGuitarPlayer: yours got it also
FineGuitarPlayer: lol
FineGuitarPlayer: why do you ask??
GuardianSea: just wondering...I'm psycic like that
FineGuitarPlayer: kinda freaking me out like that
FineGuitarPlayer: haha jkjkjk
GuardianSea: haha do you know how I know?
FineGuitarPlayer: cause you like to scare me?
FineGuitarPlayer: lol
GuardianSea: haha yes!
GuardianSea: I'm outside your window!
FineGuitarPlayer: dayum yo
FineGuitarPlayer: DAMN IT
FineGuitarPlayer: i looked to
FineGuitarPlayer: scary ass girl

I love you, Frankie.

Depressing poem...just what I'm good at.

I wrote a little more
I feel a little less
I feel a little like…I’m heartless

I broke your heart
Just like you broke mine
What I did was not very kind.

I sunk to your level
And I am ashamed
But you left me just as fast as you came

I knew from the beginning
But I didn’t want to believe
All that I knew was to be taken from me.

I wrote another poem,
I sung another key
But I still feel just as empty

Sorry, Frankie...I suck at happy poems (if you even read this anymore)

I don't like telling people things because when I do they usually compare they're life to mine being like "My life is worse than yours because of this..." or "Remember, there's always someone out there who has it worse" I hate that...I didn't tell you because I think my life is the epitome of sorrow! I told you because I trusted you and felt the need to get it off of my chest! *sigh*
(Perfect)

That I will no longer write about what has been going on, because I just feel stupid when I do. Like I said...pathetic. Apparently it isn't worth it.

My sister and I got into a fight because she said "I'm tired of you borrowing my stuff and losing it." Yes, I did lose one of her earrings...I put them next to each other and my pillow knocked it off and I could never find it, but she began blaming me for losing a dvd of hers that I never even opened the case to!!! She kept saying "Well it's your responsibility" And I kept saying "Maybe you lost it at your place! I never even opened that case to check before we left" She kept telling me that I did check, but I honestly didn't. Maybe my friend, Bianca, did, but I never really asked her.

But she pretty much began destroying my room looking for it...I said "Um...you're kind of destroying my desk." She didn't say anything. "I guess you don't care..." And she kept throwing stuff around and said "I guess I don't." GAH! Then she kept on about my room being fucked up anyway. I don't want to get into all of it, but she made it sound like her room was so perfect...last time I saw it, it was worse!

After she left the room, I went into the bathroom, locked the doors, collapsed on the floor and cried like I haven't in a very very very long time. Everything just began weighing in on me and getting "bitch" and "fuck you" from my sister didn't exactly help (I did say fuck you first though). I felt like such a dumbass baby. I'm just so sick of being strong, trying to admit to myself that I do have a problem. I'm tired of all of this, but I don't want to be anyone else. I'd rather be fucked up than perfect. But I'd love to be in Frankie's arms and not alone here...I know that I would always be happy if he was here. I love you, Frankie.

Feel free not to read any of this....

Here's a quote from "V for Vendetta": "People should not be afraid of their government; The government should be afraid of their people."

P.S. She always succeeds in making me look like that bad child...ALWAYS...No matter what she does..

This isn't all of it, but here's the first part of that poem

I’m the type that would sit on the floor,
Cry my eyes out and hope for more.

Holding my heart together with my fist.
Fighting, hurting myself for the end of this.

And then he stepped right into the light
And all of a sudden things felt alright.

Suddenly, I found myself piecing things together.
I found missing pieces in his heart, pieces I couldn’t get from mother or father.

I found my weak legs, standing strong,
With happiness and pride I had all along.

Nothing felt better than to see him smile,
Something I hadn’t felt in a while.

I just typed A LOOTTTT!!! And it erased it ALLL!!! *sigh* I guess I'll just type it up again later.
But Frankie? How do I do the link to the other page so it's not taking up so much space on the main page?

I love you.

I miss someone soooo much right now...I bet they can guess who they are. *cough* Frankkiiieee *cough* Wasn't me...haha

But yesterday I got a corset, a poofy skirt, and a lace up hoody-like sleevless top. PRETTY AWESOME. I also got blue-green eyeliner, "Sleepy Hollow," and "Howl's Moving Castle" today. LOVE IT.

Woo and I'm about to pass out...woah. But all I can think about is what is in the package...Hm...I hope it gets here soon.

I miss and love you, Frankie.

Me: "Dad, it's hot in my roooommm!"
Dad: "Why not just crack a window?"
Me: "I seem to remember a certain boyfriend of Molly's (my sister) going physco stalker and you nailing them shut!"
Dad: "Right..."

Haha

So yesterday, me and my dad went to the Cotton Patch in Cedar Hill. That was pretty damn good food.

And then we went to the book store and I got a book that I never got to finish! I really wanted "Howl's Moving Castle" though. It's a great movie. THE CASTLE MOVES!!! haha.

After that we went to the cingular store and guess what...I GOT A NEW PHONE. Same number, you guys. I'm sure I have a ton of minutes! Three months of roll over minutes!

I don't know what I'm doing today. Bonka (Bianca) has not called so we could see a movie. If you know Bianca, you know how hard it is to get a hold of her seeing as she has no house phone and only her parents have cell phones.

Ah, and I found out that this guy likes me. Weird. That's never happened before. I went to Townview TAG's dance and I danced with him, but I thought it would do no harm. And one of my friends (that he goes to school with) called me and they all wanted to know if I liked him (suspicious. Oh! And I was on the phone with Frankie at the time actually!). Of course, I said no. What?? I didn't. And then his friends kept messing with him (I won't get into that story) and he finally told me he liked me...I didn't want him to do that because then I'd have to tell him that I didn't like him...Oy. I told him that I was sorry and that I had a semi-boyfriend. He took it well, he said: "Eh, things happen." But yeah...

Well that's enough for now. Laters!